I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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