did you get engaged???
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
