Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
