How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
