I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
