I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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