So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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