Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
