you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
