guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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