sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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