why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
