I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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