Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
