Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize