that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
