I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
sex in a hospital.. check
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
