she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
