how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
