Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
