I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
