its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
pop tarts are not kleenex
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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