problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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