i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
