I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
