i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
