I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
