Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
