I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize