There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
