did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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