PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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