She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
