if i died would you start the facebook group?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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