just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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