dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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