The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
