so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
