he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
