Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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