i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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