Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
