There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
