Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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