gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
