dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
