Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
