I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
