Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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