My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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