we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize