i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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