I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
