I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
