HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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