i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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