remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
