Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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