she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
