do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
