you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize