I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
