you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
