I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
