Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
