He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
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I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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