im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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