They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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